Chapter
6: Abiding
“Lord,
what is this all about?” I told Him how I had been expecting
a miraculous healing for Jack, and had actually envisioned him sitting
right up in bed, totally healed! Was the Lord going to heal him through
a miracle? Did He not want to use doctors? Did He, after 8½
hours of cracking the skull and probing inside, not want the doctor to
touch the exact spot? Would it have ruptured during the process? Did
He, who had guided the doctor’s hands, allow only the
cleaning but not the touching? After all, we had prayed specifically
for His guidance and wisdom.
That
night, exhausted, I fell to my knees and asked God to forgive me for
any doubt in my heart. It is easy to stand in perfect faith when
you’re alone at home or in a prayer group. However, when
you’re in the thick of the battle, seeing your loved
one’s condition, the doctor’s frowns, and the
constant monitoring of a life-and-death situation, it is very hard not
to despair from time to time.
The
whole ordeal had taken a toll on me both emotionally and physically. I
confessed any lack of faith on my part and resolved that, no matter
what the circumstances looked like or what the doctors predicted, I
would look to His Truth, which states simply:
“He
that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under
the shadow of the Almighty,”
“I
am the Lord that Healeth thee,” and
“He
shall call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in
trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him...with long life will I
satisfy him, and show him my salvation” .
I
stood on those three scriptures, speaking them over him every day. The
word salvation, coming from the Greek word “Sozo”
also means “healing” and
“deliverance”. I was blessed that we did not have
to rely on our faith alone. We were covered with prayer from an army of
faith-filled brothers and sisters in Christ. The Word of God says that
“having done all, stand!” In other words, The Lord
heard our prayer the very first time; we just had to wait in
expectation for the result to manifest itself.
A
peace came over me and I thanked Him over and over again for His
goodness, His love, His presence, His peace and all that He is. I
thanked Him that Jack had come through the operation without any
further complications, and reaffirmed Jack’s healing, telling
Him that, however He was going to do it and no matter what the outcome,
He would get the glory.
“It
is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord, and to sing praises unto
thy name, O most High. To show forth thy lovingkindness in the morning,
and thy faithfulness every night”.
My
favorite place to pray was on Mount Royal! The hospital is built into
the mountain; its main entrance on the 6th floor faces the mountain
across the street, and its back entrance on the first floor overlooks
the city. Those beautiful autumn days I would just cross Cedar Ave. and
climb right up a winding path to a little knoll I had discovered with a
spectacular panorama. It looked out right over top of the hospital onto
parts of the city below astride the mighty St. Lawrence River and the
South Shore beyond. It was a place where I could unwind and take some
deep breaths, read the Word, pray, and nestle under His wings.
With
Wings as Eagles
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